Over an unspecified amount of time, there have been upwards of ten groundhog sightings in Elena’s yard! These hairy fellas are no nuisance, however, they have – in fact – been quite fascinating objects of beauty. All groundhogs considered, there is yet to be a woodchuck more majestic than the one and only Joseph Norman Phassegoosie. Mr. Phassegoosiemoved into Elena’s yard shed about two years ago now, and has been aging gracefully ever since. He enjoys taking routinely strolls along premises, and chewing at the fresh Spring grass. It is also a proven fact that woodchucks are just a different, much larger type of squirrel; therefore studies suggest but do not prove that Godzilla may be a distant relative of the Phassegoosie family. Do not be alarmed, however! Joseph has not shown any signs of aggressive behavior up to now. Many of J. Norman’s Facebook friends have requested that he post pictures of his family, and his negligence to do so has raised suspicions even more that Godzilla the Squirrel is very possibly a cousin. Despite all this, may we wish him farewell, and that he never sees his shadow again!